January 2000

REVIEW OF NOVEMBER WORKSHOP

You've Got to Suffer if You Want to Sing the Blues:
Psychoanalytic Reflections on
Self-pity, Guilt, and Romance
Stephen Mitchell, Ph.D.
By Melissa Black, Ph.D.

A motivated crowd was on hand Saturday, November 13, 1999 to welcome Stephen Mitchell, Ph.D., our speaker for the 17^th annual DSPP Fall Workshop. For the first time and as a participating member of the Interdisciplinary Psychoanalytic Consortium, the workshop convened at McCord Auditorium on the campus of Southern Methodist University. Dr. Mitchell’s wealth of expertise nicely augmented DSPP’s topic for the year, "Authority and Desire in the Analytic Relationship". Known nationally and internationally for his contributions to psychoanalysis and psychoanalytic psychotherapy, Dr. Mitchell currently is a training and supervising analyst at the William Alanson White Institute, supervisor of the New York postdoctoral program in psychoanalysis, and founding editor of Psychoanalytic Dialogues. He has authored many papers and books including, Hope and Dread in Psychoanalysis; Influence and Autonomy in Psychoanalysis; and co-authored Object Relations in Psychoanalytic Theory as well as the most recent Relational Psychoanalysis.

DSPP President, Dr. Myrna Little, introduced Dr. Mitchell and noted that there was no formal respondent to the morning paper and invited the audience to be the discussant. The workshop participants embraced this invitation and a very interactive morning ensued. Dr. Mitchell explored in depth his perspective of relational psychoanalysis, which he described as a mixture of object relations and interpersonal theory. Two basic ideas were presented during the morning workshop and were woven into his topic, "The Degradation of Romance." First he discussed the sociocultural constructs of romantic love, which were then followed with his reflections on self-pity and guilt. Both of these main themes were linked by their clinical relevance.

Romantic Love: Dr. Mitchell began by visiting Freud’s concept of psychological impotence as defined by 1) sexual impotence caused by psychological rather than physiological factors, and 2) impotence as a metaphor for the inability to sustain passion/desire. Freud’s conclusion, based on clinical data, was that the condition that is most likely to interfere with sexual potency was love itself. Dr. Mitchell went on to clarify that deep affectionate love and strong passion are both found within the same individual, but are often not experienced at the same time or with the same person. The concept of true romantic love requires both affectionate love and passion to co-occur. Dr. Mitchell considered the sociocultural context from which Freud’s clinical material emerged. He contrasted the historical context with the huge changes during the ensuing century, particularly with regard to sexual mores. Yet, as Dr. Mitchell provided the audience with his own clinical data, he showed us how the division between love and passion is as strong as ever. Modern culture divides men and women into those who are dependable and familiar -- therefore seemingly safe and lovable – versus those who are strange, unfamiliar, and exciting – therefore seemingly dangerous objects of passion. Using case material, Dr. Mitchell demonstrated the inherent paradox in this attitude, showing how it is far more dangerous to own and express passion (therefore to be vulnerable) in an enduring, committed relationship, whereas there is relative emotional safety in showing passion in a brief or less committed relationship.

Dr. Mitchell discussed how psychoanalytic theory has basically accepted as normative this relational progression from the unfamiliar and passionate, to familiar and loving. This is based on the premise that early in a relationship mutual projection and idealization is expected and natural, but that maturation in the relationship allows the couple to discern fantasy from reality. Dr. Mitchell provided a different frame for understanding this relationship of love and passion. Citing the work of Loewald, he argued that because reality and fantasy are interpenetrating, in adult love reality is not tested to eliminate fantasy, but rather fantasy is used to animate life.

The institution of marriage was examined as potentially coercive (and submissive) in order to create an illusion of safety. The parent-child relationship was seen as the first instance of a created illusion of safety; a place where, ideally, parents work hard to keep the young child feeling secure. Fantasy life allows the vicarious experience of the forbidden or precarious, which would be too threatening to explore within relationships. Although this provides a developmentally sound arena for childhood growth, this is not a good model for adult romantic love. Dr. Mitchell demonstrated how people use marriage to provide stability and permanence, then accept that "deadness" or lack of passion is a part of this bargain. He linked this acceptance of a lack of passion within relationships to the prevalent need in our society for passion to be experienced vicariously.

A lively discussion commenced as some members of the audience struggled to apply this paradox in the consulting room. Dr. Mitchell again provided a different frame for exploration of this issue. If passion/desire go away with familiarity then there is nothing to explore, however, if they go away because they are frightening then there is much to explore. The audience discussed the struggle of many patients to "do something" to restore passion in their relationship. Further discussion explored the theoretical differences between traditional psychoanalysis and relational psychoanalysis, particularly how tensions around sexuality are understood. Discussion around the role of fantasy and the etiology of vulnerability was lively and thought provoking.

Self-Pity and Guilt: Dr. Mitchell opened the second part of the morning lecture by pondering the ways people define themselves. Using Homers’ Odyssey to illustrate how scars, pain and difficulties in life make us recognizable to others, Dr. Mitchell set the stage for a discussion of the other side of love and passion, i.e., pain and guilt. Again drawing from his own clinical work, he showed how people may increase their personal suffering to protect themselves from later guilt, or, conversely, will assume guilt because self-pity would be unbearable. He reminded us of the impossibility for an abused child to blame their abuser and feel the self-pity; rather, and inevitably, they will take on the burden of guilt.

Dr. Mitchell further drew from the contributions of Melanie Klein to elaborate his ideas on self-pity and guilt. Guilt originates in emergence from the paranoid/schizoid position as the child brings together the two breasts (good and bad) and discovers they are both one (realistic). This whole object is the basis for movement from the paranoid-schizoid to the depressive position. The urge for reparation occurs because of profound guilt and regret at psychically destroying the object that is both loved and hated. If the hate is too strong or the guilt too great then we see the retreat to the paranoid-schizoid position (borderline character structure).

The discussion then took the concept of how pain is turned into self-pity and guilt transformed into guiltiness as a way of defending against true pathos (tragedy in life) or true guilt. The inability to bear these feelings leads to self-pity or guiltiness, both of which pull for some type of action from the listener. In contrast, true pathos and guilt are borne silently, carried with dignity, and are used for growth in life. Dr. Mitchell illustrated by discussing "Blues" music, which carries a deep sensibility and acceptance of pathos that fights against self-pity. This music is a celebration of the understanding and acceptance of the sometimes harsh realities in life. A short discussion followed which again focused on the pull to "do something" versus the acceptance of the analytic process as helping to understand and bear what is possible or not possible for each of us.

The afternoon concluded with a case presentation by Dr. Bob Bennett, a Dallas psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and founding member of the Dallas Group Analytic Practice. The case selected by Dr. Bennett provided the audience with an opportunity to work with the principles Dr. Mitchell had put forth in the morning session. The case presentation included marital deadness, intense sexual content, shame and guilt, as well as intense transference and countertransference material. These issues were freely discussed by Drs. Bennett and Mitchell, and created an atmosphere for open dialogue amongst the audience, Bennett, and Mitchell. Members of the audience shared their associations to the case material as well as asking direct questions about the particular material and about technique in general.

(Editor's Note: A modified version of Dr. Black's review of the Stephen Mitchell Workshop appeared in the recent issue of Psychologist-Psychoanalyst)

Cheryl Martin

1 an analytic explanation or hypothesis (14)
6 Freud had one and some think it "just is" (5)
7 unconscious personality component (9)
8 retired professionals (often academic) (7)
9 tense (7) (two words)
10 Freud and Jung's shared patient (5)
12 imposed (9)
15 can be therapeutic tool or reflective space (7)
16 narratives occasionally heard by therapists (5)
18 Freud's home country (7)
21 reveal secretly (7)
22 not otherwise specified (abbr.) (3)
23 comprehend (5)
24 positive libidinal feelings of a child toward the parent of the opposite sex and hostile or jealous feelings toward the parent of the same sex (14)

IT HAPPENED A CENTURY AGO

1. Freud's, "Die Traumdeutung" / "The Interpretation of Dreams" officially published one century ago in the year 1900.

2. Births in 1900: Ernst Kris; Erich Fromm

3. Deaths in 1900: Friedrich Nietzsche

4. Freud ended work with Dora in 1900 (case study published 1901)

5. Dr. Schreber began writing his Memoirs of My Nervous Illness (published in 1903)

6. The first volume of Wundt's Völkerpsychologie appeared

7. William Stern published On the Psychology of the Individual Differences

8. Carl G. Jung graduated from Basel and was appointed Bleuler's assistant

 Down

2 sometimes associated with preoedipal conflicts (9)
3 state of being innominate (9)
4 tool used by some therapists (7)
5 a mental codification (6)
11 responsibility (9)
13 meeting place for Div39 year 2000, San ______(9)
14 end (9)
15 DSPP keynote speaker Fall 1998 (7)
17 lethargic (6)
19 solid (5)
20 belonging to Freud's daughter (5)
22 belonging to the whole (6)
23 form of examination (8)

Solution on page 7

DSPP Arts Event

Salomon Grimberg, M.D.,
" Mexico Reflected on Andre Breton's Mirror "

André Breton

On Saturday afternoon, February 12, 3-5 p.m., the DSPP Arts Committee will co-sponsor with The Dallas Museum of Art a talk by Salomon Grimberg, M.D., "Mexico Reflected on Andre Breton's Mirror". Dr. Grimberg's talk will take place in the DMA Horchow Auditorium. It has been scheduled in conjunction with the DMA's current show, "Art in Post-Revolutionary Mexico, 1920-1950", mounted through February 13, 2000.

The term surrealism, "a reality apart", was coined by French poet, Guillaume Apollinaire, but it was poet and artist André Breton who used it as a name for an art movement that began in the twenties and continues to be vital today. Breton visited Mexico in 1938 with the intent of introducing his theories about Surrealism. To his surprise, he discovered that Mexicans were Surrealists but did not know it and that Mexico was the "surrealist place par excellence". The next four months were spent becoming acquainted with a world he had understood but now experienced while living in it. The effect of Breton's theories in Mexico also left an indelible memory as they provided a sense of identity that was lacking in the art movement in that country.

Dr. Grimberg's February 12 talk at the DMA will provide a general overview of the effect Breton's visit to Mexico had on both Breton and on Mexico and how its reverberation affected the development of the New York School of Painting in the decade of the forties. Dr. Grimberg is a Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical School, a child psychiatrist in private practice in Dallas, and writes on various aspects of the creative process. He has authored books, articles, and catalogues for exhibitions he has curated. He has a special interest in Surrealism.
Dr. Grimberg's DMA talk will be followed by a Mexican cocktail buffet reception at 6:00 p.m. at the home of Judith Samson, Arts Committee Chair, at 5741 Glen Falls Lane, Dallas 75209. This will be open to DSPP members and guests, as well as to others interested in psychoanalytic thought and the arts. Please call Judith at 214-691-7434 for reservations for the cocktail buffet (no reservations required for Dr. Grimberg's talk preceding the reception).

DSPP ARTS COMMITTEE
AN EVENING WITH BILL KOMODORE

The November 6, 1999, evening with Bill Komodore generated great interest and more guests than could be accommodated in his home. Mr. Komodore interpreted several of his works within the context of his creative process and technique. He answered questions and shared with us details of his life.

He explained that many of his canvases are painted in large scale because this gives him a sense of being physically involved in making the art: "Painting must follow the hand and the eye, not the mind," because the hand and the eye are ahead of the mind.'' He told us he must go where the painting takes him. "Sometimes the meaning won't be clear for months or years." This resonates with this writer as an experience not unlike the analytic process, where free association generates a desired outcome of "transcendence over death in the act of creating and ultimately of unifying the grip of love".

Humor, generosity, spirituality, irony, & intellect combine in Mr. Komodore & he created for us a "sacred space" through his art. For those DSPP members who missed this wonderful evening, Mr. Komodore's work may be seen locally at the Meadows Museum.

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ANNOUNCEMENTS Crossing the Analytic Path Solution

DSPP Film Group presents The Governess The DSPP Arts Committee Film Group will meet Saturday evening (note Saturday NOT Sunday), January 29, at 6:00 p.m. at the home of Judith Samson to see and discuss The Governess, a 1998 film by director Sandra Goldbacher and starring Minnie Driver and Tom Wilkinson (you won't recognize him from The Full Monty). A passionate Oedipal tale, it is filmed with a beauty reminiscent of Jane Campion's The Piano. Bring a dish you're willing to share for potluck. Drinks will be provided. You are free to bring a guest. Dress is, as always, casual and comfy. For more information contact Alice VanHuss alicevanhuss@hmhs.com 972-484-4338

DSPP Courses New Semester Begins January 27th Contact John Herman, Ph.D. at 214-640-7267 for registration information. Class information is available on the DSPP web site, www.dspp.com Article Sought Seeking to borrow copy of Roy Schafer's, "Authority, Evidence, and Knowledge in the Psychoanalytic Relationship," which appeared in Psa. Quart.66, 1995 and also his book Tradition and Change in Psychoanalysis, 1997,. If you have access to these materials, please contact Cheryl Martin 214-384-2395 DSPP Bulletin Please submit items to be published in the February issue of the DSPP Bulletin no later than January 27th. Return to Top of Page Return to Home Page Return to Bulletin Page

It's A BOY!! Kenneth Farr, Ph.D. has a new addition to his family. Jacob was born November 15, 1999 at 11:00 AM, weighing a healthy 8lbs.10oz. Congratulations Ken! MEMBERSHIP DIRECTORY CHANGES Please make the following changes to your membership directory. If you haven't yet received your directory, you may see Cheryl Martin at the next Meeting to collect your copy. Dorothy Dunn, Ph.D. --office address change: 5924 Royal Lane Bldg. B Suite 216 Dallas, TX 75230 (phone remains the same) Salomon Grimberg, M.D. --now has email: grimberg@airmail.net Cheryl Martin RN, LPC --correct office address is: 5646 Milton Suite 409 Dallas, TX 75206 Scott Nelson--email address change: scott.nelson@email.swmed.edu